My dear Mom passed away on July 20th. She was one of my biggest fans (and sources!) when it came to genealogy. She really loved reading and hearing what I researched. Since August also happens to be her birth month I will spend some time posting about her all month long. Miss you, Mom.
Doris Elaine Finch, our Mom! She was a devoted wife; a loving mother and grandmother – or nanny; a sister and sister-in-law; an aunt, cousin, neighbour, and friend. But, before any of these she was a daughter. She was the youngest daughter born to Rose Power and Alan Mills, our Nan and Grandad.
Mom was born and raised in the small community of Oyster Pond Jeddore, Nova Scotia. The family lived in the former home of Mom’s great-grandfather Colin Mitchell on the East Jeddore Road. Childhood days were spent playing on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean, picking berries in the woods, or relaxing on the big rock behind the house – a rock we too enjoyed when visiting Grandad. We
know many people here today have fond memories of that rock.
Mom’s childhood was not without challenges. She became sick with tuberculosis and spent months at the TB Hospital in Halifax away from her mom and dad. The loneliness was somewhat relieved when she received visits from her Aunt Florence and Aunt Belle. While in the hospital, she befriended an African Canadian girl despite racial tensions of the time. Mom didn’t care, though. She just wanted a friend.
One by one, her sisters left the family home – leaving Mom as the last one at home. But, Mom got to enjoy something the others didn’t: the modern conveniences of indoor plumbing, as Grandad finally installed a functioning bathroom, meaning no more trips to the outhouse.
On a visit to Ontario to visit her sister, Mom met her future husband, our father, Carl. They were married in the Oyster Pond church – a day that has its own fair share of stories – and set out on their honeymoon driving the Cabot Trail. Mom used to tell us how her sisters, instead of packing sandwiches for the journey, packed sweets, cookies, and cakes. They didn’t go hungry, but they suffered from heartburn.
With poor job prospects in Nova Scotia, it was clear that our parents would need to settle in Ontario. They first lived in an apartment in Paris before settling in Hamilton. Ultimately, they bought a house on the Beach Strip, a place we all called home.
While Dad worked at the Dofasco steel mill, Mom took to jobs such as selling Avon and cleaning houses. First and foremost, though, she was the homemaker. She made sure we had a clean house and meals to eat.
Three words that describe Mom are loyal, kind, and caring. She displayed these attributes throughout her life. This was especially evident in the final years of her mother, our Nan. Mom spent a lot of time helping to take care of Nan, allowing her to live somewhat independently. Long before then, Mom would go the extra mile to ensure we kids were on the right path whether it was helping with homework or working tirelessly during speech therapy sessions. Mom was always there for us.
You can’t talk about Mom without thinking of Christmas. Christmas was her favourite holiday. The house would literally be transformed. Her regular knickknacks and ornaments were wrapped up and put away, replaced by Christmas decorations. It felt like being in a movie. She’d spend the holiday season in her chair admiring the lights on the Christmas tree. Christmas Eve was a time for family and friends to come over and a chance for everyone to enjoy her Christmas baking.
For a girl from Oyster Pond, Mom sure was able to go places and enjoy big world experiences. She was able to travel to Las Vegas, visit the Grand Canyon, and see the Hoover Dam. And, she fulfilled a life long dream of attending the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville not just once but two years in a row. In 2010, Mom was a guest at a State Dinner for Queen Elizabeth II, where she met the former monarch and Prince Philip. Never did she imagine she would one day meet the Queen, she said. But, she did.
The one thing we will all remember about Mom is her loving smile. As you saw in many photographs today, Mom’s smile was everywhere. She was genuinely a happy person who tried to see good in everyone and every circumstance. Even the ICU doctor at Oakville Trafalgar Memorial Hospital remarked how Mom smiled at him as he told her she would need to go on life support. The nurses loved Mom’s smile. We think it helped make their day just a bit better.
In closing, let’s celebrate a life well lived. Let’s celebrate a remarkable woman who until the very end gave it her all. Let’s celebrate her legacy that lives on forever. And, when things aren’t seeming to be going according to plan, take a deep breath and just remember to smile.
This is the eulogy I wrote for Mom on behalf of my brother and sister. It was one of the hardest pieces I have ever written, but I think she would’ve been proud of it.
